You might be a Mobile Massage Therapist if…




…you own 22 pairs of nail clippers and 1,684 nail files…and they are scattered in every room in your home, every bag you own and every compartment of your car. You know they are there…somewhere…


…stairs are your mortal enemy.


…you have learned Zen and the Art of Not Flipping Jerky Drivers off on the Freeway…because, you know,  your car has your phone number on it now.


…you know where the handicap accessible entrances are in every large building in your town.


…people in elevators have pointed at your table/cart and asked you why you brought a bed with you to the hotel.


…you’ve done a massage while someone held their dog/cat/infant daughter on their stomach for the entire session.


…you bring your massage table car shopping…and station wagons start looking like mighty fine rides.


…you get asked at least twice a week if you are creeped out by going to stranger’s houses.


…your other cup holder has been known to tote a backup bottle of massage oil.


…you’ve been amazed at how many people don’t know their own building number or gate code.

…you have come up with at least 4 alternative designs for your massage table cart, all while walking some distance with it. You’ve never fabricated any of them, but you can dream.


…you’ve had recurring dreams of being stuck in traffic while your poor client waits for you across town.


…when someone complains about how long it takes to drive somewhere, you bite your tongue and smile.


…you’ve ever forgotten your table cart, and the stretch of hotel from the parking area to the guest elevators might as well be the Sahara Desert.


…you carried it all the whole way anyway, and regretted it later.


…to you, your client’s cute yard ornaments look more like an obstacle course, complete with booby traps.


…and last but not least, though this might be a southwest LMT exclusive… you might be a mobile massage therapist if your massage table has ever gotten snagged on a cactus.



Thank you, and good night!

Please feel free to add more mobile massage specific ones below! :) 

This entry was posted in Massage and tagged , by Ariana La Cour. Bookmark the permalink.

About Ariana La Cour

"Ariana La Cour, a Nevada native, lives and works in fabulous Vegas (baby) . She is a full time licensed massage therapist who runs her own small mobile massage company, is a part time massage blogger, runs the Las Vegas Massage Therapy Meetup Group, and is an aspiring author. She is the main shenanigator over at She adores both kale smoothies and chocolate equally, and doesn't see a problem with it. She is a sucker for bouquets of newly sharpened pencils. She dislikes pointy toed shoes, complacency, and when people don't use their turn signals. You know who you are."

14 thoughts on “You might be a Mobile Massage Therapist if…

  1. If you’ve taken your massage table and your massage chair with you car shopping.

    If miles per gallon is a deciding factor on your new car.

  2. If you carry your massage table up two flights of stairs to a clients room because their kids are home and they don’t want to be disturbed, yet the kids spend the hour session banging on the door.

  3. …before your next massage, you are absolutely SURE your phone’s (aka “turntable’s”) battery charge is at least 90%.

  4. … You’ve had to make friends ride in a separate car because you forgot to take your massage table out of the folded down back seats if your hatchback.

  5. You ask a client if they have ( or can make) space for your table. Then you arrive only to spend the first 20 mins rearranging furniture.

  6. Your massage chair bag gets incredulous looks at the gym. No, I didn’t pack my whole closet to work out. I’m just assisting with an in house promotion.

  7. You know where all the shopping centers/ mcdonalds stores / service station which all have toilets/ bathrooms for that ’emergency ‘ stop before getting to the new client ….

  8. Oh, I just thought of another one: As your new client starts rattling off their address to you when they get to the zip code you think “come on, come on, big money, no whammy, no whammy, be close!” then when they get to the last two digits of their zip code and you realize they are 25 miles away you cringe…just the tiniest bit. lol

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